Spiritual Essence.

I've been thinking about a lot of things in the past couple of days. And I came to the conclusion that you never really know a person at its fullest. Everybody's always changing, whether it be for the better or for worse. I dont know too many people that i would label "friend" but i do know that those that are, mean quite a bit. I've found out that im not as different as others like i thought i was. Actually, we all have the same goals, to be happy. But what does that take? What does one do to be happy? Humans are never satisfied with what they have. Not because they are miserable, but because they always want to find out what the limit is, how far they can go to get what they want, how far they can go when they set their minds on different things. And that is what i think could be our problem. Nobody ever knows their limit until they experiment. And with experiments in life, comes a lot of failure, and perhaps some success. Failure is the mother of success. You need to fail in something, to really want to experience success. With failing, a lot can be learned, like what not to do in the next time around, and how to solve the problem that is at hand by failing, and finding other routines, and goals to succeed in. And once something is succeeded after failure, it is the sweetest accomplishment that can be made. One is more likely to be more appreciative when they have succeeded after failure. Its like saying, Without sorrow or pain there is no compassion. That is one thing i believe in truly. You can never know the good, without experiencing the bad.

Ive been looking for ways to find myself and understand myself better, and more fully. Ive been wanting to be more spiritual, and find my inner self, and my inner being. Surely, theres got to be more to life than the outside world. The understanding of oneself is usually overlooked, because we are too preoccupied with the outside world. Once I understand myself, and know myself better in depth, then i am able to understand others better, and my surroundings. My goal is to wipe out as much of the negativity that is inside me, and to start fresh, start anew on my journey of finding the self. Quite the journey it will be.

but anyway, its getting late, and i need to sleep because i have to go to work tomorrow!
I will post another blog soon.

Burn.

I think im buring myself out with working so much. Im definately not used to these amounts of hours, plus i have driving school on saturdays. Im so preoccupied with everything else, im surprised i havent lost my mind... Yet. Anyways, theres been so much drama in my circle of friends that its incredible. Sometimes i just would prefer to stay alone in my own world, because i know that i dont piss myself off that often. I found that i actually LIKE to be on my own and NEED to be on my own every so often, so that i can relax, and think things to myself, which relieves a lot of tension.
University is in two months, and im shitting my pants. Will i make it through? Its going to be such the challenge... i mean faculty of science and engineering? WhAT WAS I THINKING! i mean im smart.. but not THAT SMART!! well i could be.. its just really intimidating to say the least. *sigh* and with university comes a whole other shitload of stress... like the money that i dont have! :D *thumbs up*
Im trying not to think about it, and just be all "well to hell with it! i'll solve the problems as they come" but i mean... with money, its not like that.. you cant just snap your fingers and expect it to be there. that shit takes time! AND A WHOLE LOT OF ENERGY!
Ah well. I got in, thats what should matter at the moment. so for now, im going to try my hardest to sit back and enjoy what time i have left until stress needs to be taken care of.
Another day, another dollar. What can i say.
ugh. i should go to sleep soon, i have to work tomorrow
To yet another adventure of my life.
Night.

Again I Go Unnoticed.

Dashboard Confessionals - Again I Go Unnoticed.

So quiet
Another wasted night,
The television steals
The conversation
Exhale
Another wasted breath,
Again it goes unnoticed.

Please tell me you're
Just feeling tired
'cause if it's more than
That I feel that I might break
Out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything
But signals that are mixed
Cause I can't read
Your rolling eyes
Out of touch,
Are we out of time?

Close lipped
Another goodnight kiss
Is robbed of all it's passion,
Your grip
Another time, is slack
It leaves me feeling empty.

I'll wait until tomorrow
Maybe you'll feel better then
Maybe we'll be better then
So what's another day
When I can't bear
These nights of thoughts
Of going on without you
This mood of yours is temporary
It seems worth the wait
To see your smile again
Out of the corner of my eye
Won't be the only way
You'll look at me then